Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tired in CA
This time change is getting to me quickly.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Nexus One versus iPhone
No, they don't.
They can sound the same, perform the same function, but they are different and convey a different meaning in values, a different focus on the importance of meaning, and a different awareness and perspective of what is important.
My experiences thus far with the Google Nexus One, running the Android OS and the Apple iPhone 2g have been functionally similar and vastly different to what a desired experience with a smartphone means to me.
I was using a pay as you go plan on t-mobile before and happy with my iPhone. It is a very pleasant user experience for me for a variety of reasons. Most importantly the screen is nice to view web content and the web browser is pretty decent. The applications are consistent in their behavior and one quickly learns what to expect, including any of the things that might seem lacking by comparison to a newer model smartphone.
Of course, I jailbroke my iPhone early.
Not as soon as I received it, but as soon as I could figure out how and find the correct software and setup the correct configuration of software and iTunes on my PC under Windows. While I normally prefer to run Linux, I use Windows XP for gaming, when I need to test in a Windows environment (including helping family and friends), and specifically when I need iTunes.
Those Linux users among you know where this is going. The biggest issue I have wasn't necessarily using iTunes - although that is a decent program and does what it is designed to do successfully -but the technical restrictions on using my phone the way I want and actually feeling like I was owning my phone. Thanks be to those wonderful explorers that found out how to jailbreak the iPhone and shared that information with the rest of us. If it wasn't for them I personally would not have gotten as much out of the phone.
Honestly, jailbreaking the phone didn't give me all that much more than the iPhone already had, or already had the capability to do. I like to tinker and hack around with my technologies, so that is reason enough, but I also found a few applications that I wanted that were only available if I jailbroke my iPhone and installed them myself. I couldn't get them from the iTunes store. Google Voice Mobile - excellent. Toggle for turning off data services (so I didn't get charged while using my month to month for cell only; I used wifi for data access) - excellent. Cydia to install GPL and other apps at a whim - excellent. And my favorite, Moleskin which is now Noteskinnery+, wasn't available in the iTunes store. What was nice was being able to manually backup my iPhone and wander around the operating system to backup program settings. Saved my contact data and personal information when iTunes was too helpful and reset everything for me.
And that is not to say there aren't really neat programs in iTunes Store to download. There are and I have a few (Yahoo Messenger, Facebook App, WoW Armory, Blizzard Authenticator, Guitar tuner).
But the real experience in the iPhone is that it is nice. The screen is crisp. The touch sensitivity is really good. It has buttons - actual real world buttons - where it should. Where it is not so nice is when it is busy and you have to wait for it - whatever application you are running at the time - to finish and respond to the button or action you want but it blissfully seems to ignore. However, it is quite loyal in showing you that it is busy thinking. Like when your dog ignores you and cocks it's head sideways with that blank look on it's face, but still has the decency to pant with it's tongue out to let you know it is still breathing.
Enter the "Google Phone" or HTC Nexus One running the Android OS.
Now I ordered this on day 2 when it became available. It arrived quick and I happily tried to register and experienced one of the worst end-user consumer phone experiences I've ever had. It wasn't horrible - just the worst. It was due to the lack of any printed material or instructions to use the phone.
I couldn't figure out how to open the back of the phone up to put in the battery. I don't consider myself an idiot - but I felt like one so I must have been. I don't like technologies that make me feel like an idiot. Mom, I apologize profusely for ever letting you run Windows ME or buying those Lexmark printers. But I digress.
Where was I? Oh yes. Idiot. What seems to be an easy affair of popping the case open wasn't. The device - being new - was tight. The backing has this cover over the camera that for all intents and purposes looks as if maybe you'll tear the phone apart if you tried prying that off. So I looked elsewhere. No high-tactile grabby thingies (I'm sure that is high-tech user talk), no symbols. The bottom looked like it could come off (but of course, it doesn't). So, what will seem obvious only after one figures it out, is to put a fingernail in the microphone hole and pull. Hard. And don't be all wimpy when your nail peels off and scream like a little girl. Not that I ever would mind you. >.>
So there. Got the battery in. The sim card is in. I power it up. That was the end of my horrible experience! No. Not really.
The worst part is still yet to come. I started in, excited to see the walk through screens and it steps you through entering in the information you need to setup your phone screen by screen. And noticed something very important. The touch screen seems no where near as sensitive -as accurate - as the iPhone. No big deal, not a big complaint, until it affects your user experience and you can't get to the next screen.
You see, for anything that is a data entry or text entry field, the device very faithfully pops up a qwerty-like keyboard. Near the bottom right of this onscreen keyboard is "Del" above "Go" above another 'button' on the screen "Search". Let me tell you when you want to type in your name and password information, and you have characters in your name that cause you to shift the on screen keyboard to different modes and back, you most certainly, maddeningly, will not wish upon your enemies that your entire entry is automagically deleted by the "Del" key when you actually want to "Go" ahead and submit your information!
I've decided not to write up the screaming and expletives. Let me just state, that the wonderful thing about the Nexus One is "rooting" it (or jailbreaking it in iPhones terms) is pretty much as easy as downloading your phone's operating system image and clicking "Yes, I know I'll void my warranty", but since you own it they'll let you anyway. It was wonderful. I felt like I owned my phone. And I did own my phone *geek giggles* right after I set it up. Which brings me to my point about the "del" and "go" key above - when you reset it, you'll have to do that all again. -.-
So anyone who wishes to experience the uh, experience can easily do so. I don't suggest it, although it was good motivation for me to learn how to backup and restore my entire system and configuration as quickly as possible.
That is also one of the things I don't like about the Nexus One - the onscreen keyboard positioning of items could be much better. Also, the other "onscreen" touch buttons (not really buttons but stenciled onto the glass at the bottom of the screen as touch-points) is the "back" arrow button, the "menu" button, the "home" button, and that pesky "search" button I mentioned earlier that likes to get attention when the 'go' button is too busy.
That back button, it's finicky. It functions as a back function, when you are in a function (in an app) and eventually a sort of "escape" key to get you back to the top level screen. You can get to that top level using the "home" button - but it doesn't seem to always work unless you press again to remind it what you wanted.
Also, that menu button. It is modal. It changes what it does depending on where you are and what program is running. Pros: You got an app running and you don't know what is happening, hit the menu button and see what options are available - and that the app responds. As opposed to the iPhone where you look at the busy spinner and can only press home to escape. Cons: it changes and isn't consistent from app to app and many time the options then throw you back to the touchscreen, and then you might select something that you could then find another use for the menu button. It just feels weird. I'm sure that is a technical term used by those usability studies people too.
So. Here I am, using the Nexus One today. I've been using it for weeks. What is really nice about the Nexus One is a few things. First it feels fast. It is fast.
Not to belittle my iPhone, but the hardware is simply newer and designed to be faster.
There are plenty of applications that I can get from the store that are wide and varied (including wardriving wireless access point fun and other OMG! I want to see what that does sort of proggies).
There is something hidden about the Nexus One that they don't advertise. That is: they don't advertise the features of this phone! Oh. My. Gods. This thing rocks. Google maps rocks. Google EARTH is awesome. Using my normal number or google voice rocks. Being able to select either or is awesome. The applications - barcode scanner that looks up prices in the local area and online, check! Awesome, CHECK! MyTracks application that puts my travels on a map via GPS and allows me to record it and upload it later, check! Nice camera, check! Ability to upload images taken via Picasa and check that little box to "auto correlate time and location data" and have all my pictures magically fill out on the google map where I took them - AWESOME. Having a command line shell; rocks. OK, I lost you non-geeks there.
The best thing I can draw an analogy to would be the iPhone is just like my trusty MacBook. Consistent and not nearly as fun unless I can pull in some of those non-trusty apps I love and use. The Nexus One is a mobile linux server that lets you do what you want to with it and has access to much more of the open source world than the iPhone without any real effort. The only real con is you pay for that power - battery life is not nearly as good as my trusty iPhone. Once I discovered factory settings were defaulted to high brightness and all wireless on, I configured it better to get better life out of the battery - but it really is a once a day charge sort of thing.
So, which do I prefer? Well, I like them both, but would rather carry around a brick of power than a deck of elegance, so for now, I prefer the Nexus One.
Clickity-click-click or glowity-glow-glow

I've been using the original Logitech G15 keyboard for some time now. I really enjoy the back lighting in low light conditions (which I usually keep at home). I don't have time to modify my own - ok, I'd rather spend the time doing something else!
Monday, March 01, 2010
Gildas, is that you? No, I am not myself.
Related to my Buddhist studies, I also find that isolating an idea or going without for awhile tends to show one the subtle touch points of interaction and thought, the cravings, the habits, that were always there but one might not have noticed.
Combining that with a desire to keep to self-sufficiency (I rely entirely too much upon Facebook because it makes it so easy; if they charged $50 bucks a day tomorrow, I might have paid to get my information out), belief in the personal ownership of my information (Facebook can leverage my profile in ads, I don't trust them to delete things permanently), the fact people must be *in* Facebook to get to information that isn't public (no email or adding people to groups using OpenID), and the fact that I realize I can - and perhaps keeping to my ideas, should - be doing it myself in ways I can learn from and improve upon, I decided to delete my Facebook account.
So, I deleted my Facebook account.
The experience has been interesting:
- facebook doesn't make it obvious how to delete your account
- facebook does everything in their power to get everyone else to use facebook to view your content - no anonymous browsing really
- facebook gets advertising and make money off me wanting to connect to friends
- people react differently to my virtual facebook suicide - some panic - within minutes (you know who you are), some initiate contact via email or phone and are concerned, some wonder, and some don't seem to notice!
- people think reading a posting from someone on facebook is actually being actively involved in their life! Ego trumps reality, but reality shows people perceive things that are just not truly present!
I've created a new profile with a "scorched earth" approach - restricting all access to no one, then adding my friends.
Facebook does not make it easy, nor quick, nor even possible in some instances to set restricted access. They must target making money off of the social network and not as much the details of an individual.
The other interesting thing of note: it seems one can no longer disable the "Friends" section on the public profile. Anyone looking up "Gildas Talmadge" can see all my friends (that might be you, btw) and although in the past you could make that private, it seems that is no longer the case.
It is particularly interesting given that for many of you, simply by seeing your connections I can have a reasonable chance of figuring out "that is you". I wonder if to a casual observer if they can easily deduce who I am without knowing any one of you.
Back to mentioning the process of deletion: So much to not only delete, but if one wishes to move it, make it portable, and even put it back, well, that facility doesn't exist. The information about us isn't as nearly important as the way we organize and thus express ourselves, the relationship between the various information posted about ourselves, and if we want it to have meaning, about who we are and what we do!
It makes me wonder how would one pull all this information in a portable way. The best I could do was to to a HTML crawl of the data - it is now in a "HTML diary" entry for the day my Facebook page died. :)
I'll by trying to post more regularly here and perhaps on my own URL/site in the near future.
UPDATE: Related idea to keep an eye on: web suicide.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Wub Wou Woo

While trying to figure out a better approach to getting users with screen readers options for trying Linux I found Wubi (http://wubi-installer.org/latest.php).
Wubi allows MS Windows users to install and uninstall Ubuntu as any other Windows application. And the "how to get it" seem simple enough. It asks for a username (uses your current MS Windows login name as default) and password for the Ubuntu account, then begins a download of the latest Ubuntu version (default Ubuntu, optionally Kbuntu, Mythbuntu, or Xbuntu. This would confuse some users as there is no explanations of the difference in distributions):

I'm going to test it out with some novice users, but the execution seem slick.
More later...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Been on a walk-about

Been taking some pictures of activity around my apartment in Dupont Circle.
This is raw unedited and the hi-res aren't online - ask if you need a hi-res version.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Finally Someone Gets It
Whether this is of his own making or from those around him, bravo!
We can also hope this marks a tone and supports the long-gone tradition of transparently open government.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Usability and Visuals
ohh! More!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Content before Style
for my friends and family,
although it may not be pretty,
I hope it works,
I'll wait and see.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Call Me!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Who Needs Government For Private Life?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Death By PowerPoint
Monday, November 19, 2007
$hamele$$ly A$king For Your $upport

I am participating in the 2007 Thanksgiving Day Trot for Hunger to help raise awareness about hunger and homelessness and to raise funds for programs that provide meals, medical care and other supportive services for the poor and homeless in our community.
Please join me in supporting this important cause by making a tax-deductible contribution in my name or by registering to participate in this year's Trot for Hunger. Your support makes a world of difference in the life of a child or adult in need. Thank you!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
One Laptop Per Child

Well, I've considered both sides of the good and the bad in a program like the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program.
Thinking that the negatives are really an issue of how this won't work or will distract from the basics is a failure to consider that any involvement leaves people with potential. Potential failure, perhaps. Potential success? We will see. I'm willing to support such an experiment. To see if such an effort makes things possible.
On a personal note, I'm also anxious to see how accessible these things are from an end-user perspective. Perhaps also be able to contribute to the ability for children with disabilities to use the same technologies, in the same places as other children.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Newlaunches.com - Tachikoma Robot
OMG! I've never seen money willing to fly out of my pocket so fast! SQUEE!!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
This is the song that never ends...
some people started singing it not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue singing it forever just because,
this is the song that never ends...
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Ron Paul Freedom Fighter
HAhahahahaha! OMG! This made me laugh out loud while I was eating! Brilliant!
Oh yeah..go Ron Paul!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Like a suppository, only...

Thanks to Gary for pointing this out to me: The Dissident Frogman. I had a weird day, and this made it all better!
...and the music to this rocks too!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Pennsic!
I didn't have much interest in drinking this year beyond the taste of it. Or perhaps more aptly I had no interest in drinking to excess as is the normal want of many Pennsic denizens.
Still, camping with my friends who could make it, meeting old friends, and making new friends was great fun! I only wish I could have stayed longer.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Time can change me...
On the road with your laptop and forgot your alarm? Do you need more than one alarm some mornings? Want to wake to music or videos from your computer? Need an in-your-face at work reminder for that appointment?

Take a look at ALARMD Internet Alarm Clock. You can save the webpage locally if you prefer.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Weekend Things
Had the opportunity to see someone give a meal to a homeless man. You should have seen the look of disbelief and then happiness on the man's face. It was so good to see. And I got to buy the man who gave him the food a meal in return. Good fortune and karma all around.
I walked a great deal exploring and didn't get to everywhere. I went to Boystown - how unremarkable it is the gay section of town - and had a coffee, people watched, and then went to 'gaymart' a store full of superhero figures and a few gay-themed items. Definitely a geek store though; I resisted the urge to buy a 13" Dalek. :| I did buy gifts for the girls. I also found a shop with silver fidget rings and
bought a few on a whim.

Asking the shop girl where she would take a friend visiting from out of town, I took off across the street for a whiskey at a local dive. Went to a weird leather clothing store and listened to a couple trying to return an open boxed dildo - you can't make these things up.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Dancing About Architecture

I tried the Hotwire reservation thing for the first time. The only bitch I have is that the highspeed Internet was anything but speedy and cost another $9 a day! So I only bought one day since I was walking about the city so much I didn't really notice. But I probably would have like to play online games at night - my Wow-time is wowsy.
I did get down to Millenium Park and listened to an outdoor concert; strings and a Spanish guitar. It was really wonderful, although damp and getting colder.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Have a Nice Day!
Friday, June 01, 2007
Now we know the purpose of the Internet
To answer lifes' unanswered questions: World Of Warcraft: Dancing
Friday, May 25, 2007
Classic RPG: Fallout
I tried to load it and it didn't work under XP. I spend way to many hours at this game - it was great! This intro is haunting...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Starcraft 2: Oh Gods No
I bow down before our gaming slavelords. I was pasty white enough before I heard this...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I haf no idear...
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Aspri-rations
I couldn't resist, as the cover art was by Phil Foglio. Reminded me of Wormy and Phil & Dixie.
So I've completely avoided anything productive while reading this book all day. If you don't see me online, it is because I'm offline :D
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Looking for Group...
Monday, May 07, 2007
Wireless ACKsess
I was in meetings last week and most of this week with no Internet connectivity. I honestly don't know how business intends on being a business if they don't provide wireless access openly, or at least with easy authentication. It isn't productive for the participants. It isn't a fair expectation that we must be 100% focused on their presentation and review. Some of us multitask well, and could stay longer and participate more fully if we could simply work on our laptop or pda.
Added to that, the number of users who have crackberries that walk away to come back after a period of time, certainly aren't any better than someone on a computer with split attention. This is one reason I think the iPhone will be incredibly successful. The premise is wireless without thinking about usage charges or how to connect. I get to experience some of that with my Sidekick, but they are still limited by their need to nickel and dime you; they are the phone provider, not the hardware or os and application provider. They have a vested interest in getting you to purchase a network plan to make them money or to restrict you application usage to not cost them money. That is a different mindset than enabling full use of your hardware and software and creation of new things for fun or function.
Here is to hoping I can get a new iPhone when they come out!
Friday, May 04, 2007
Going Down To Cowtown....
See ya online or back here later.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Let's Blow...

No windy city here - seems I brought all the good weather and it fell out when I opened my suitcase on Thursday. It has been a great day or two wandering about.
I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked, as I saw more than I can show later, but I did learn the subway and transportation. Learning how to get around should make it easier when I come back to visit again.
The city is nice. Old and new. It is hard to be lonely with so many different people running about (but evidently I still tried hiding behind a camera). I'll update and post my pictures ASAP.
I'm on my way home and hope to see you all soon.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
ChiCaGo-go-go

I'm in Chicago! Had work out here and now that I'm done I'm going to look around. I'd fly back but no flights until early Sunday a.m.
So hopefully I'll be able to stop worrying about old friends back home and take some pictures. Maybe I can make it to the Sear's Tower and "The Bean".
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Beers aren't queer
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
300
I found the Penny Arcade comic and it reminded me to mention it. I thought it was a good movie, with a mythic style. You could also see the SinCity-like graphic violence; not real but dreamlike.
Johny Cash
I've heard the David Bowie and NIN version; this has to be the best one - his last song recorded I believe.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Exactly why I don't enjoy "the signal"
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Wine, Wine, Wine

Anyone interested in some wine this Saturday? http://www.washingtonwineacademy.org/public-events.htm#feb24 WWA's "Drafthouse" Wine Bus Trip to Virginia Wineries (VA) $49
Saturday, February 17, 2007
I'll Be Your Server This Evening...
I looked a little bit and figured I'm simply setup a home server to serve some pictures and nonsense. So I'll test and configure normans.homeunix.org until I'm ready to put up permanent links from personaldaemon.com running. If you are brave you should be able to visit ftp://normans.homeunix.org and get something...
I've got a few images I'm taking with my camera that are fairly large in file size so I'll probably setup a front-end. The images aren't cropped or modified yet, so I may have composed the pictures different than I would choose to make final, but that shouldn't prevent you from see how much I lack photography skills!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Looking For Looking-glass
So I've got non-professional, nobody wants to see them pictures to share - suggestions?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
One month off
Been trying to support my friends and taking some satisfaction in just being 'here' for them. Been trying to think of what being 'there' is for me. Nothing specific, not complaining, just things would be enjoyable if I spent more time living than I did working.
I hope everyone is well, if I haven't heard from you in thirty days I miss you but I won't tell you. I probably have a picture somewhere and have seen you more than you've seen me ;)
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Cool new books!
I know I'm a geek. I was looking for online education for Universal Design degrees and couldn't find them! The ones that exist have dates from 2 years ago, or are add-on courses to Industrial Design degrees.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Happy, Happy, Joy, Oh Fu...
Actually, it isn't a downer as much as a larger challenge. I just today, a week and a half after classes started, received my college textbooks. English Creative Writing and World History before 1650. Now I can begin to catch up on classwork. Unfortunately, beyond posting 'hello' in to the online discussion boards there was squat I could do in advance. So now I'll be really busy with college, trying to catch up.
So apologies in advance if you don't see me for awhile. I'll be trying hard to be a good student and pass my courses with good grades.
I hope I'll get a chance to goof off, play games, drink, and kiss & hug the cute ones, soon. I suppose if there is enough drinking involved I might kiss & hug the ugly ones too...
Christmas Squee!

a new baby for me! Squee! I love me!
BLACK With the following configuration:
* Processor 065-6699 2.00GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
* Memory 065-6726 2GB 667 DDR2 SDRAM-2x1GB
* Hard Drive 065-6768 200GB Serial ATA @ 4200 rpm
* Optical Drive 065-6704 Superdrive 6x
Ships by: Dec 14 - Dec 16
Delivers by: Dec 18 - Dec 21
I already mentioned I purchased the developer kit for OS X. I'm hopeful to make some comparisons of it versus accessibility on other platforms. I'm just filled with geek joy to learn yet another operating system! Am I sick or what?
Well, that and I don't always like hauling my mobile gaming monster (Inspiron 9100) about all the time. I'm into weightlifting but the power brick is large enough to replace exercising with dumbells.

Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wood You Could You?



I just finished installing Gaby's wooden floor. What a p^h^h^hleasure it was to have it finished. Well mostly - we still need to put down the edging and finish it all off with a fresh prime and paint.
The cutting was a pain - I'm no carpenter - but actually the vacuum was the hardest part; lots of dust. Still, not bad for my first install of a floating wood floor. :)
El Oper
Actually, I hope to use it for some comparative analysis of modern operating systems implementations. Primarily in the usability and accessibility arena.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Yesterday I couldn't Speal Edumakated...
A good friend asked when I would be done. I don't really know. I don't think in those terms - it doesn't work well for me. What does work is taking the classes, inching to the goal. Progress in the immediate sense lets me better deal with when I judge myself too harshly that I should have completed it long ago. I won't give up, so I won't inspect my progress in too much detail.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Consumer Hoar...
Not that I expect much to change in the entertainment section of my life; no cable, just DVDs and now I can watch them with someone else in the room (before I used the computer and the screen and setup wasn't conducive to more than watching from the computer chair).
"I am a consumer hoar", "boy and how!" (thanks Don)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Draws like I think
This guy draws like many of my dreams go - how I think and movement evolves in my dreams.
Friday, November 24, 2006
A position on my staff...
A friend mentioned not being able to make a comment on my blog without logging in first. Just wanted to mention, since I was encouraging you to write comments, that you only have to log in you want to be recognized, otherwise you have the options under "Choose and Identity" of Google/Blogger (log in), Other (enter your name, web link optional), or Anonymous.
I don't know what it was in the past, but that was one reason I left Friendster - I didn't want people to have to create an Friendster account just to post.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
So this guy walks into a grocery store...
Thoughts of being undesirable single; thoughts I have no one to cook for; thoughts I have no one that wants to cook for me; no one who loves me in that way.
No amount of thinking about how great it is to have friends, or that I have wonderful daughters, or that most of my past relationships created some unique happiness can undo the feeling - I'm about to loose it right there in the frozen food isle.
I zoned out and checked out. I'm glad no one stopped and asked if I was OK, because I would have lost it. I was too sensitive and vunerable at the time to do anything else.
Thoughts of non-attachment; thoughts that we are all alone, even when we think we have someone; thoughts if the person I loved died, what would I do, thoughts that I delude myself thinking someone has the same feelings I do.
I miss the illusion that someone loves me for me. I'm unsure of myself to trust I can do it since I thought someone loved me and I was wrong. The shared illusion - that I was loved and loved someone - was in fact a delusion; only I felt that way. Makes me feel like I'm unskilled and unable to figure it out through clarity of thought, it must be blind luck - and I don't feel lucky.
Being present in the moment helps me live through these times, but it is very unpleasant. I'd much rather intellectualize the fact that life is a gift and we are alone while smothered in the glorious shared illusion of being loved.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
V visits the US government to file petitions
A long video, but watch these asshats. The government is made of people and they forget they serve first. If you are in public office, especially police, you should be subject to video while on duty.
I need to get my V suit ready...
Monday, November 20, 2006
Where for art thou, blog?
I don't like friendster's blog for a few reasons and I do like blogger's blog (did I just say that?) for a few reasons, so I've moved all my stuff over to my new blogs: http://gggildas.blogspot.com/ will be where my poetry (dare I say art? It may be a self performance only, which makes me feel like I've been masterbating in public. I hope you enjoy the show!) will be. My regular blog nonsense will be on here (http://gildas.blogspot.com/), where it always has been.
Now this is a good thing for you who bother to visit and watch me drool, you can use Atom or RSS feeds to track my postings. No longer waiting on Freindster's lackluster abilities, it seems to come home late and drunk more often than not, and I'm tired of waiting up for it. (Imagine me with curlers in my hair)..wait for it...wait for it..Bingo! [It helps to know I shave my head].
Now for those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I offer you a free geek card, redeemable by visiting Wikipedia's article about Atom feeds and perhaps Wikipedia's article about RSS. I personally use the Firefox Web Browser for just about everything so I installed The Sage feed reader but as I mentioned, you can use whatever tool you choose.
I've deleted my old postings and moved them into the new blogs. Sorry for the auto-feed update nonsense - I'm still learning.
Friday, November 17, 2006
If you care
you'll perhaps,
venture a comment,
venture a word,
something better than nothing,
somethings written,
better than not,
better than that,
one word,
one can consider.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Before there were threat levels...
Friday, November 10, 2006
Need a new place
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
A Special Present...

For those of you who actually read my blog!
Cabarat
FREE TICKET! FREE TICKET! FREE TICKET!
I have for 2 tickets for the 2 p.m. Saturday, October 28th performance of Cabaret. Would you like to be my guest? People who miss me encouraged to apply!
All you have to do is send me an email or call.
Arena Stage Theatre is located at 1101 Sixth Street, SW, Washington, DC 20024. The play will be held in the Fichandler Theatre. The Running time is approximately 2 hours with one 15 minute intermission. You may log onto http://www.arenastage.org for more information.
More than one guest applying means we may decide the winner based on games of skill. You know, something like tequila shots or something of equally dangerous consequences. Presents and persuasive gifts (did you see my post on roses? Red isn't required! ;) or shameless self-promotion is allowed to persuade the judge.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Perception is Reality
I've been asked by more than one person about my poetry. What does it mean? Please explain it.
I can't. I won't.
I think poetry, posts, are art (With apologize to Ash: good, bad, I'm the guy with a keyboard) and my attempt to explain it to you will fall short of your own interpretations.
I also caution you that I myself might interpret my own work differently that what you think is obvious, logical, or most likely. I.e., If you think the post is about you, it might be, or it might be as a dream with symbolism only I can recognize. Or, I can't recognize it either but it is the imprint of emotions and memories that key to something more than just reading some words.
That said, if you want to get to know me in person, you might gain some insight into my personality. No profile can define me. Attributes are isolations and about as useful as one chemical in my makeup to a scientist - "Yes. Carbon - but is it intelligent life?". If you are lucky, we might share ideas that make us happy.
I hope someone, somewhere, enjoys my posts.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Here and there
At any rate, if you don't find me here you might know where else to look. Of course if you are looking you might try my yahoo photos - among other places ;)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Long life?
A FYI for all of you who don't know; "A" and I are no longer "an item" as they say. I wonder what a non-item would be?
N.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Monday mourning
How sad is it that when I came to work I automatically placed my fingers on the A, W, D combonation as if I was driving my World Of Warcraft (WoW) character about?
The really weird part is how I think the WoW interface could be used in a desktop setting. Not in it's current incarnation, but close. I've experimented with other 3D interfaces on Linux (shh, don't ask, don't tell) but couldn't find one that really performed anything other than eye candy. There are a few useful demonstrations, but lack of any full system with applications designed for 3D use and designed for that type of user interaction.
I tell you another thing; sound rocks. I've turned down all the special effects and turned up the ambience in WoW. I've observed the game becomes much more emmersive, which if you've played WoW is scary. I can also tell what zone I am in without looking. I find it cues me in to expect certain animals and non-player characters. Sound is a subtle but easy to ignore attribute that really does enhance playability and enjoyment of the game.
Not that I played all weekend. I finished my college work for the week, read my Heavy Metal magazine, installed and connected to my Kuro Box (still trying to determine what firmware I wish to run).
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Back to School!
As part of my attempt to focus on learning, I'm going to keep a diary. Hopefully this will help increase my desire to write and eliminate some of the writing blocks I have in my personal and professional work.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
This makes me happy
http://www.zappinternet.com/?video=fodCyoDmiV
That rocks.